Father's Day/University Visit

Yesterday was... rough to say the least. 

Let's start off good shall we? I stopped by the next university my mother spoke at. I had no trouble getting there. Nothing seemed very out of place, save for the nightmares continuing. 

She was on a lecture circuit and was hand delivering some research from other researchers. I'm pretty sure I'm following her path well.

So her couple notes at this university were about how the lily only slightly differed from another lily it's a possible subspecies of. The lily is white but the difference is this one has a very very small blue spot on the very tip of its petals. 

She also noted that it might have been just been her sleep deprivation, but she swore that late at night, when working on identifying the lily she heard whispers and voices. She didn't now what they were saying because they were so quiet.

Moving on... Yesterday was father's day.

Mother's Day and Father's Day are always rough for me each year. Its not so much I'm upset about other people enjoying the company of their parents while I have none. In fact I think its great people do that. I feel a little better each time I see someone spending time with their parents on those days. 

I just feel a void. I wish I could have spent more time with them. I wish I could show them how much I've grown out of my angsty teenage self. Still immature yes but not as spiteful for not reason. 

My dad was a wonderful man. He never complained about us. He never even got angry with us. Never yelled. He was always understanding. Always willing to listen. Which I think, when I was a teenager, that's all I really wanted. It was hard moving into the real world knowing I was so small but he made me feel like I was so great.

I don't blame my father for anything that's happened today. I don't blame anyone but the monsters following me. He just wanted to protect me from a horror that had claimed so many. He just wanted me to be safe. And I am safer. I've been saved so often by it. 

So thanks, Dad. For everything. I love you.

Sorry about this sappy entry guys but I like sharing since I don't talk much about myself. So thanks guys for reading.