Wednesday, August 10, 2011

I Swear I Will Punch Every Bear In The Face - Dysis, 1 Minute Ago

So yeah. The bear is back, and its given us one hell of a run right now. Uhm... fuck

I'm really really tired. We ended up sleeping in the hospital last night. I'll tell you Dysis has a talent at making make-shift beds from random shit.

Anyways so this pretty much all started actually a day ago. Our hunch about that pour mauled soul we found was correct. The bear was leaving us little presents like a fucking cat or something. Because the next day we were informed by the front desk of the motel that someone just outside got mauled.

We pretty much got the hell out of there drove as far and as fast north as we could till we were both almost passing out and finally stopped at a motel and passed out almost immediately.

I woke up to hearing scratching. Dysis had woken up to it busting through the door. That's right. The fucking door. She managed to light something on fire, which it didn't like and ushered it into the bathroom and locked it there. We grabbed our stuff and started running.

Right when I threw my bags into the car it grabbed me, it fucking pildrived me to the ground and I rolled a bit. Dysis yelled to run and I did exactly that. I did the only thing at that point I thought I could, I ran into the wood.

My reasoning being if anything else showed up it would end up fighting with the bear for me. And if tall and facless showed up it would definitively kill the bear or they would severely hurt each other.

So yeah I ran through the woods and thankfully I'm pretty fast now after all the running and the fact my adrenaline was probably going crazy.

I managed to evade it by ducking around trees it couldn't maneuver around and hopping over stuff it couldn't avoid. It finally grabbed the back of my pant leg and sent me rolling down a hill and into a tree.

It did what it did last time, instead of just running up and tearing me to shreds it got up close to me. It came over slowly while I was still dazed from hitting my face into a tree and it was inches from my face as I pressed agianst the tree. It stared into my eyes with those empty white ones and it... it...

It spoke.

It was garbled and rough. Like there was something soft stuck in it throat...

It said, "Little star. I will eat your light."

It opened up its maw to to eat me. Its jaws opened way farther than they should have and then... It howled in pain and rolled over and away from me. When I turned to see who it was it was my father holding an harpoon gun. The harpoon stuck deep in the side of the bear.

He turned to me and yelled. "Maggie! Get back up the hill! Run!"

And right when I looked up the hill I saw Dysis slide down with a fire axe in tow. She had this look in her eye I had never seen before. It was like all this anger she held in was boiling over.

She slid down and kicked the bear in the face and then swung the axe into its neck and began chopping at it as she stepped onto its neck and it thrashed around.

My father pulled me up and pulled up his mask as he looked at me. He looked worried and looked at my forehead a moment then said, "Maggie get back up the hill and to your vehicle. It was straight that way." he pointed.

I couldn't do anything but nod and run. I swear I  heard him mutter something like "Please stay safe." as I ran from him and up the hill. I turned around again to see Dysis stomping and chopping at it as it roared and thrashed She was relentless as she did.

And my father walked up pulling out a another harpoon from the gun as Dysis looked up and saw him and took a step back. I turned and ran at that point. Dysis can fill you in on what happened.

Okay so Lia fucking ran after that I guess uhh... its hard to remember but the guy, Glyph or whatever. Shot the bear with the second harpoon at that point it turned to him as he loaded the third one and charged and Glyph shot it in the face. It looked like it was in a lot of pain but didn't die and it tackled Glyph and pinned him.

Now I wasn't having any of that bull shit so I grabbed the things top jaw with my hands and yanked it backwards. I don't fucking know how I managed that but I'm petty sure it was because I was hulking out on account of how fucking angry I was.

Now I pulled the fucker back and threw it down so it was stuck upside down and I punched it in the goddamn throat. it roared and Glyph shot it a fourth time. So we fucken continued to rail on it. About this time it was 5:45 I think. And the sun started coming up. And I think the fucking thing noticed that. So it managed to flop onto its side and fucken grabbed my hip and threw me into Glyph before it got up and ran like all hell away from us into the trees further.

I got up and grabbed my axe. Glyph picked up one of the harpoons it left behind and frowned a bit angrilly in its direction then looked at me and said, "Thank you for keeping Maggie safe... Keep her close." now at this point I was feeling a bit exhausted and my hip fucking hurt after my adrenaline was wearing off. So I just said "No problem." and then limped back up the hill. I got to Lia and we went to the hospital to get her noggin checked out. The bear didn't break skin but my hip fucking hurt so we did an x-ray to make sure it wasn't broke. They put Lia on observation over night to make sure everything was okay. 

Uhh... I'll just hand this back over to her now.

So yeah. We got out. Everything's fine in my head and now we're at a diner eating because we're starved... its been a really long night and day.

But we have a plan for when it shows up again. Atleast Dysis has devised a plan for if it shows up again which, we don't know how long that'll be because she and my father well Glyph both did a lot of damage.

So now we're kind of just recuperating. Dysis's hip seems fine. She won't stop complaing about it though. I though she was a big bad lumberjack or something

LumberJILL thankyouverymuch and I can complain all I want about a fucking bear throwing me.

Anyways yeah we're just chillaxing until we get better. We're both alive though both fine. Both functional despite any protests Dysis has...

All of you keep safe and alive alright? Alright.

Keep rocking, party people.


  1. Goddamn it Hylo, stop trying to get yourself killed.

    Konaa's alright. Nessa's alright. No getting yourself killed by bears, got it?

  2. Fucking hell, Hylo. Be fucking careful. And you too, Dysis.

  3. Oh my god thank you Nick. Thank you so much...

  4. Okay, that's good to know.
    ... Konaa being okay. Not the demented demonic bear trouble.