Tea Parties?

So Its been pretty uneventful in the hospital. I've just been messing around on the internet the past couple days waiting for the okay to take my stitches out and for me to be released.

So I was about to fall asleep at about... Midnight last night when I started to nod off. So I fell asleep for a couple  minutes and opened my eyes to see someone sitting on my bed.

That woke me up fairly fast and I sat up and attempted to use my blankets as a flimsy shield when the man offered me a cup of tea. He was kind of pale and wore formal clothing and a top hat. He smiled at me and said. "Come on now. Tea will help you heal..."

I just stared at him wide eyed and he growled a bit so I took the tea quickly and muttered. "Its not poison is it?" and he shook his head.

So I took his word and sipped the tea. It was my favorite, peach.

"Come on now. You can't expect me to snuff out a light like yours." He said and sipped his own tea and pulled over my bed's tray and set down a tea cake for me. "Though its dulled a bit."

"What do you mean?" I asked and hesitantly unwrapped the tea cake.

"You've convinced yourself you're going to fail. You've lost your hope." He said and ate his own tea cake.

I just quietly drank my tea. It was true. The past couple days have been kind of rough emotionally. I just keep getting beat down whenever I go somewhere new. I haven't felt like I'm going to make it.

"You also forgot your birthday." He said and pushed my tea cake a little closer to me.

So I ate my tea cake and frowned. I did forget my birthday. It was on the 21st. I'm now 23 years old.

"Come on now. Don't looks so sad! You've got so many talents! I wish I had them when I was still alive!" He said and laughed and threw his head back and I noticed that the top half of his neck detached from the bottom half a little and there was a distinct line around his neck where the two halves weren't connected.

"Wait you're not... Uh... you know, Mr. Crane?" I asked and he nodded and smiled at me. "Man that's rough... so you're dead and stuff?"

He nodded again. "Oh yes yes I am. You know it isn't that bad. So don't worry about me. You need to focus on yourself right now. There's a great deal of things soon you'll have to face and you need to be strong." he said and pat my head.

"Wow... I'm getting a pep talk from a ghost..." I said and smiled a little at him.

"Thats the spirit! Now buck up darling. You have plenty of friends willing to help you. I'm sure thats why all those voices dropped you off here." He said and then stood up. "I must take my leave now. Its getting a bit late for me to be out. I don't want him to find me again." He said and then he just vanished. Just, like, blinked out.

Wow... Either I was tripping out from all the drugs I've had to take the past couple days or the ghost of Ichabod Crane just came to say hello...

I dont' think I should question this otherworldly business anymore. Just kind of... you know... roll with it. So I'll just try and do as he said and cheer up as best I can.

Keep it real everyone.

Well huh...

Uhh where I am exactly I won't say since I'll be here a little while. But uhh... wow its an interesting place to be.

Lets just say its a place of legend in New York.

Anyways so sorry for scaring everyone but I've been out t he past couple days sleeping or coming in and out of sleep without enough coherency to actually type something. My right wrist has also been messed up a little but has been fixed. It still hurts though.

So I think this is how things have gone down the past couple days:

That shadow bear managed to slip in through my window. It squeezed itself in and as I was coming back to my room from a food run it grabbed my leg like before only with a tighter grip in its teeth. It picked me up and slammed me against the wardrobe in my hotel room and then threw me against the wall. 

From here on its really fuzzy what happened exactly past everything being blurry. It got really dark and then light again and then really bright right before I blacked out completely.

I was apparently found on the side of the road and they took me to the nearest hospital. When asked I said I was mauled by an animal but I wasn't sure what it looked like. 

And now here we are. Sitting in a hospital bed. Hoping nothing seeps through the ceiling and decides to off me or steal me away.

Uhh... I'll be here for a little while so I can heal up. Any suggestions on what to do while I'm in bed here? 

Fffffuuuuu

Okay guys I'm alive. In a hospital in... fuck I dunno. Somewhere between Jersey, Philli, and New York. I'm awful with eastern coast accents. Western Montana hardly has an accent beyond an occasional twang.

Long story short I got jumped and knocked almost the fuck out and don't remember much past that except waking up a couple hours ago and getting a look over from the doctors before wiping the blood off of this laptop. I'm going to be released uh... soon?

Fuck my right wrist hurts like a bitch so I'll post later.

Nurses are giving me the stink eye for not sleeping so I'll get on that now.

All log-in info and stuff has been changed as to not get hacked.

I'll try and remember more and post tomorrow sometime or the day after.

See you in dreamland.

Where are you?

We only barely hacked this blog. The blossom is quite clever you know?

It is important I tell you all this now as I'm sure it pertains to your interests as well as much as it to ours.

The flower is gone. Not even we can locate her right now.

The Master says her light has dulled and he can no longer see where she is.

She was bloodied and beaten when I pulled her from the maw of that beast.

I set her to the side and took up her baseball bat against it fending it off outside for my three men to take care of.

When I turned back to retrieve her she was leaning on a wall bleeding out. She barely grasped her laptop bag in her meek hands. From behind her a flower opened up. It was made of hundreds of hands that glowed brightly. 

They all reached out and grabbed her gently supporting her and pulling her into the light and it disappeared, folding into itself and vanishing.

Where have you gone, Flower?

Where are you?

If any of you see a scrawny bleeding brunette girl with green eyes and a tailed sweatshirt, please help her.

-Glyphosate

Destination Unknown

I have possibly the worse head-ache imaginable right now but its okay...

I HAVE RECOVERED MY FATHER'S RESEARCH

Kinda.

There wasn't much of it anyways... But I guess that makes sense since it was kind of cut off short.

So I can't actually translate the text but my father is an awful vandalizer of old books and likes to write in the margins so there are some translation notes here and there.

So what I could get from it the lily was said to be a gift from Ishtar (or if you're Sumerian Inanna) the Babylonian/Assyrian goddess of love, war, sex, and fertility. From what broken bits of translation I got it was meant to be a tool against what my father only wrote as "dark things". I assume that's all the monsters I seem to attract.

Other than that its broken bits of foot notes that I can't understand.

So yeah that was a little bit of help...

In other news I have gained more weight (good weight too!) and am looking less and less like a twig.

Stay safe everyone.
May your drop kicks to your enemies faces be plentiful and damaging and your travels be safe.

Slowed Down

I know. I know. Its been a little while. I was busy being cripplingly sick.

Also reeling from various emotional things but I've bucked up enough to actually post today. :D

Okay not really. I still feel like shit.

I read to the last entry. The very last entry before the crash that took my mother and father from me. They had both gone to get research. My father to get more information on the Babylonian text about the lily and my mother went to deliver some research.

He talked about how they were so excited to get back for my graduation.


Fuck I don't want to do this anymore. I know I don't have a choice but I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of not being able to sleep, of getting sick, of constantly being afraid.

What happened to me? What happened to all of us? When we were ten years old and oblivious to the world. When every day we woke up and felt like we could conquer the day. When our monsters and our fears were nothing but silly little figments of our imagination. When I didn't just want to but I knew I would touch the stars.

I need to go back to sleep. I need to rest again. I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm close to my destination though. Really close.

All of you guys are awesome. Thanks for sticking with me.

Calm Before The Storm

To keep calm while going almost going completely nuts these past couple days I've decided to star trying to meditate or at least try.

Also taking Haku and Sage's advice I've decided to try and find a totem for myself in my things and try and find what is most significant to me along my possessions. Its a beaded friendship bracelet my mom helped me make. It doesn't really fit me any more but I've managed to make a necklace out of it.

In my meditation I've started to go into the pocket dimension while doing so and just sitting there in the calm. Its never occurred to me to try it while calm. Most of the time I'm terrified while shifting into it.

When in the perfect calm of meditation its like I'm connected to the whole space. Its such a small little world but its one I'm in tune with. 

I can also feel disturbances every once in a while. Very faintly and on the very edges of the pocket. Its not in the pocket thankfully. I wouldn't want this so called 'safe space' to become compromised.

My father's journal has yielded that the lily died and my father talking about going somewhere to investigate further about the Babylonian text. I won't say where because it'll compromise where I am.

I'll leave you guys with some music in the mean time. :)

Happy Journal Fun Time

So I have been busy reading my father's journal.

Most of it is describing continued sightings of Him and his paranoia building up. He also mentions the Babylonian text about the Lily is partially destroyed so he can't get all the information he wants from it.

It seems like things were getting worse and worse. He was having nightmares and gaps in his memories so he starts to write down more and more. He also talks about how the lily is wilting and dying. He thinks its because he gave me the nectar.

Then I finally came to the date after the night I can't remember and... well uh...

August 14th, 2007


Last night... Hylo... I thought I heard something outside so I went out. I was afraid it would be Him, but it wasn't. It was Hylo. She was standing in the yard and staring up at the sky. She almost had this... this ethereal glow around her. She just stared up at the stars.
I asked her what was wrong and she turned to me and her eyes looked so... dead. Like she wasn't there and she said. "Dad... do you think about the stars?" 


I told her yes, and she asked, "Do you think they get lonely up there?"


I told her that I would think so and that from our perspective they look close but really they're far apart.


"I know. They're so far apart, dad. They can see each other but very rarely to they get close to each other. They just hang there. Alone in the dark. They must get so lonely..."


I asked her why she was thinking about this and she said to me, "Because I think I should feel that way. I see other people but I'm so distant from them. Is that normal."


I told her that there are times in our lives that we act like that. That people are not solitary creatures but sometimes they isolate themselves.


She frowned at me looking as if she was going to cry and said, "I don't want to be alone, Dad. I don't want to alone. I don't want to change anymore." she shook her head as she spoke then began to head up to the roof. 


I told her she wouldn't ever be alone, that there are always people around to keep her company. She smiled a bit at me and thanked me. She seemed to be doing fine so I went back inside.


This morning she seemed a bit off but otherwise didn't mention what happened. I don't know what it was all about. I think this may be because of the lily. I wish I had more research. I think I will have to seek it out at other places.


I don't
I'm I'm not sure. I'm going to think about this. I have to take some time to think about this.
The lily has changed me. Its changed me very much and I'm not sure what to do.

Something I have noticed

Those proxies that I keep seeing from time to time? I noticed they're the same proxies each time... or there's a few of the same ones in the group each time.

So it seems He's sent a little task force to keep an eye on me at all times while he deals with bigger things.

Also something else I've been thinking about. I've been trying to think of what plant or flower name to call him and I've come up with one. Its a large parasitic plant in Sumatra, Indonesia, and Malaysia called Rafflesia arnoldii or the Corpse Flower.

He is a Rafflesia arnoldii in nearly every sense. He's a parasite, and all the proxies are all just insects who pollinate him because they're attracted to the smell of corpses he emits.



In other news:

No weird dreams and no weird anything really except the usual proxy. Been sleeping alright. I even gained a pound. I am happy to announce that I am on the road to being a fat and useless runner (-sarcasm).

Trying to keep positive and eat well. That sounds really corny, but honestly? It has been helping.

Nightmares

I had one last night and... I think it was brought on by him.

But I don't know... I'll just describe it for you.

I was running through this dark forest. Dark meaning everything about the trees and the ground were black. I couldn't tell if it was day or not because the trees seemed to sap out every bit of light from the world around me.

I ran and I ran and I wondered why I wasn't moving that fast and I looked down to see my stubby, ten year old legs running underneath of me and I realized I was indeed ten years old. I had my Squirtle shirt I always wore and my stupid lizard earing and necklace.

I didn't want to stop though. Something was following me. No, not just one thing... A lot of things were. I could hear their feet padding against the ground. Their sides rubbing on the trees. Their bodies moving through the canopy above me. It was a cacophony of rustling and creaking and scraping.

It was too much for me and my head began to pound and my legs slowed down till I nearly came to a stop. I then felt arms wrap around me and lift me up and all the noise stopped and it was dead quiet. I looked up to see it was my mother. She smiled at him and stroked my hair gently.

"Hylo, darling, what are you doing in the forest? We were so worried about you..." she said softly to me.

Hearing her voice again is probably the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. It brought me to tears, and I sobbed into her shoulder.

She stroked my hair and told me: "Hylo... you need to come home. You've wandered off to far, darling..."

I looked up at her and to my horror she had no face. Her arms began to elongate and wrap around me tighter and tighter so I couldn't move.

"Your light will be mine, little flower." her voice changed and warped. It was hers but it also wasn't hers and it was terrifying to hear. "I will devour you, little lily. You will never glow ever again."

I struggled and tried to push her away but I couldn't and I began to sob again.

Then something odd happened... Her blank face began to glow and shine. And as it did her arms began to almost melt away. The things behind me in the forest began to hiss and howl as the light touched them.

My mother's voice returned and she said to me, "Hylo... do you remember what I told you to say when you are scared? I told you to name off the flowers in our garden... do you remember them all? Please tell me, Hylo, tell me their names."

So I did I named off all of them. I have no idea how I remembered them, but I did.

Lilac, Tiger Lily, Mums, Dahlia, Poppy, Rose, Morning Glory, Magnolia, Hydrangea, Hylocereus.

At the last word the light brightened even more and turned everything to white, washing away every bit of the dark.

I heard my mother say: "Hylo, its time to wake up darling. Its time to count the blossoms."

And with that I woke up.