So I have been busy reading my father's journal.
Most of it is describing continued sightings of Him and his paranoia building up. He also mentions the Babylonian text about the Lily is partially destroyed so he can't get all the information he wants from it.
It seems like things were getting worse and worse. He was having nightmares and gaps in his memories so he starts to write down more and more. He also talks about how the lily is wilting and dying. He thinks its because he gave me the nectar.
Then I finally came to the date after the night I can't remember and... well uh...
August 14th, 2007
Last night... Hylo... I thought I heard something outside so I went out. I was afraid it would be Him, but it wasn't. It was Hylo. She was standing in the yard and staring up at the sky. She almost had this... this ethereal glow around her. She just stared up at the stars.
I asked her what was wrong and she turned to me and her eyes looked so... dead. Like she wasn't there and she said. "Dad... do you think about the stars?"
I told her yes, and she asked, "Do you think they get lonely up there?"
I told her that I would think so and that from our perspective they look close but really they're far apart.
"I know. They're so far apart, dad. They can see each other but very rarely to they get close to each other. They just hang there. Alone in the dark. They must get so lonely..."
I asked her why she was thinking about this and she said to me, "Because I think I should feel that way. I see other people but I'm so distant from them. Is that normal."
I told her that there are times in our lives that we act like that. That people are not solitary creatures but sometimes they isolate themselves.
She frowned at me looking as if she was going to cry and said, "I don't want to be alone, Dad. I don't want to alone. I don't want to change anymore." she shook her head as she spoke then began to head up to the roof.
I told her she wouldn't ever be alone, that there are always people around to keep her company. She smiled a bit at me and thanked me. She seemed to be doing fine so I went back inside.
This morning she seemed a bit off but otherwise didn't mention what happened. I don't know what it was all about. I think this may be because of the lily. I wish I had more research. I think I will have to seek it out at other places.
I'm I'm not sure. I'm going to think about this. I have to take some time to think about this.
The lily has changed me. Its changed me very much and I'm not sure what to do.