Slowed Down

I know. I know. Its been a little while. I was busy being cripplingly sick.

Also reeling from various emotional things but I've bucked up enough to actually post today. :D

Okay not really. I still feel like shit.

I read to the last entry. The very last entry before the crash that took my mother and father from me. They had both gone to get research. My father to get more information on the Babylonian text about the lily and my mother went to deliver some research.

He talked about how they were so excited to get back for my graduation.


Fuck I don't want to do this anymore. I know I don't have a choice but I just don't want to do this anymore. I'm tired of not being able to sleep, of getting sick, of constantly being afraid.

What happened to me? What happened to all of us? When we were ten years old and oblivious to the world. When every day we woke up and felt like we could conquer the day. When our monsters and our fears were nothing but silly little figments of our imagination. When I didn't just want to but I knew I would touch the stars.

I need to go back to sleep. I need to rest again. I feel like my head is going to explode. I'm close to my destination though. Really close.

All of you guys are awesome. Thanks for sticking with me.