Also taking Haku and Sage's advice I've decided to try and find a totem for myself in my things and try and find what is most significant to me along my possessions. Its a beaded friendship bracelet my mom helped me make. It doesn't really fit me any more but I've managed to make a necklace out of it.
In my meditation I've started to go into the pocket dimension while doing so and just sitting there in the calm. Its never occurred to me to try it while calm. Most of the time I'm terrified while shifting into it.
When in the perfect calm of meditation its like I'm connected to the whole space. Its such a small little world but its one I'm in tune with.
I can also feel disturbances every once in a while. Very faintly and on the very edges of the pocket. Its not in the pocket thankfully. I wouldn't want this so called 'safe space' to become compromised.
My father's journal has yielded that the lily died and my father talking about going somewhere to investigate further about the Babylonian text. I won't say where because it'll compromise where I am.
I'll leave you guys with some music in the mean time. :)